The Zen of Flying

In the next few months many of us will take to the skies and perhaps fly off on business although at this time of year it is more likely to be to a holiday destination. Some of you may enjoy the excitement and treat every flight as a trip into the unknown, while most of us would rather get the damn thing over with as quickly as possible and if there was such a thing as teleporter – like in the Star Trek series – we would leap at that chance. However, until that cheesy 60’s sci-fi fantasy is somehow turned into a reality, we have little choice but to endure airports and the ever more penny pinching airlines that fly from them. Let’s face it beyond the fluffy advertising hype – of serene looking couples with well behaved children being led to their seat by a smiling, cabin staff version of Mary Poppins – unless you are one of the chosen few in business or first class, your flight will be cramped and uncomfortable. And yet there are ways of making it a little easier and perhaps a bit more endurable if only we could tweak our thinking.

check in hell

Too many of us believe that we have something important to say that an airline wants to hear. But the harsh reality is that once you’ve booked and paid your money, and they have exhausted every last avenue for extracting more money out of you for extras like a seat number or loading a suitcase, things only 5 years ago you got for free, too many airlines then treat you as a burden to be shunted from point A to point B as quickly and cheaply as they can possibly manage. So the first thing you need to understand is that all the shouting and complaining in the world is not going to improve your journey one little bit. However, the one area you can still express yourself in the only language they still understand is by telling yourself that you will never fly with them again… and stick to it even if that means resisting a nice little discount, when you next come to book a trip on-line. Because at the end of the day your hard earned money is your one and only real weapon against cheap and nasty penny pinching or poor service.

There is another important way you can reduce the stress of flying and that is to get your mindset right and take some simple steps from the very beginning. So for what it is worth I will now make a list of the things I do to make my encounters with airports and airlines more endurable.

1. Accept you have no control over any of it. If the weather is bad or the aircraft has a technical fault or the incoming plane is delayed, all the desk banging in the world is not going to change that situation one iota. The only thing it will achieve is to perhaps annoy the front of office staff, who have a similar lack of control over the situation, but more importantly it will lead to an increase in your own stress and anger hormones, which will take some time to be expelled from your body. So take a deep breath, force a smile and sit down to read or listen to some music. Then imagine that you are detaching yourself from what is going on around you, the moans the angry words perhaps. Because by retreating into yourself, a place where few people can touch you, you will be creating your own private comfort zone.

airport chaos

2. Before you even get to the airport you can reduce the potential for stress. Start by allowing plenty of time to get there and also think more carefully about what you will take with you. Too many of us fill our suitcases to the top and perhaps chance a little over the weight limit. So the entire journey to the airport is consumed with one thought, will I get away with it? or will they make me pay a kings ransom for the extra Don’t do it, don’t ruin your journey before you even start. Do you really need every last thing in that suitcase? By leaving at least a kilo of your limit un-used you will take away all that unnecessary anxiety over things that are not really that important. Better still don’t take any luggage beyond hand luggage if you can. Nowadays, the price of loading a single suitcase is absurdly reaching the same level as the cost of the flight ticket. If you are going on a sunny holiday, you often find that you wear the same things almost every day, which you could wash through or better still, simply buy a few extra clothes when you arrive, for a fraction of the cost of loading that suitcase. A few years ago a survey of high street travel agents showed that most holiday makers don’t even use between a third and a full half of the stuff they cram into their suitcases.

3. By all means have a celebratory drink of alcohol once you are finally checked in, but try and keep it to just the one, especially if you are in a window seat. De-hydration is one of the main reasons people arrive frazzled and booze will always do that. If nothing else make sure you have a small bottle of water to keep your fluids up.

4. We can rarely dictate who is sitting in front or behind us. It could be a sweet old couple who sleep all the way but equally you could climb onboard to realize you are smack bang in the middle of 2 screaming babies or the children from hell. Loosen your shoes or take them off and always take some earplugs – they may not screen out the noise completely but it will at least help. Also you could also take an eye mask, so you can at least visually and mentally escape from the chaos all around you. However, if that fails to work never be afraid to ask the parents of the children to make them behave. If that doesn’t work ask the cabin staff to control them, don’t worry about ruffling feathers because the likelihood is you will never see these people again in your entire life. The same can also be said of the person in front of you, who, the moment the seatbelt sign goes off, their chair back is virtually in your lap: Don’t sit there and seethe for hours on end, do something about it!

smiling plane

5. Night flying and long connection lay-overs are another source of unnecessary stress, especially if you are perhaps saving a pittance against what you would need to pay for a better connected or day-time flight. If you can afford it pay that extra and save yourself a day of your life, which you will more often than not lose because you needed to sleep off the horrors of that long night flight.

So go on, try some of these things next time – and you may be surprised by just how endurable the whole sorry business of flying then becomes.


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4 thoughts on “The Zen of Flying

  1. A timely post; I’ve already been on 12 flights this year and am off again on Sunday. I’m interested on your point about getting more dehydrated in a window seat – why is this?

  2. Yes Star Trek teleporters, that has to be the way forward. I do the ear plug thing with sunglasses. It kinda works. I also wear joggers and go commando so no awkward adjustments. Too much information te he.

  3. Hey backtobodrum – Hope you are well Annie? I am not sure how it happens in a window seat, it is not a good place to be if you have had a few beers but I was also once told that some people are so worried that they will want the loo, and so need to ask a stranger to let them out more than once that they deliberately reduce their liquids before and during a flight. I always take an aisle if I can.
    AB

  4. My survival techniques are :- Go for an aisle seat – you can at least stretch your legs out there every so often. Pay for an exit row seat – no babies or young kids there. Try not to fly Ryanair unless desperate. Always take a bottle of water – even at airport prices, though you could take empty bottle and fill up in airside loo. Make sure you have a good book or iPad type device to divert you while you wait in lounges or through the flight. We used to get things free but the cost of flying was much higher so pay for the extras like your preferred seating as it will still be cheaper than it used to be. Practice Zen (or swear a lot)……

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